A world of hurt

Sometimes I think we're too comfortable. When I'm sitting here in my cozy dorm room, with an abundance of stuff surrounding me, plenty of clothes that I don't wear, and easy access to an unending supply of food, I forget about the hurt I've seen. I sit here, and I complain about not having money to buy the stuff I need (or want), and I whine about how I don't have this and that, and I get so caught up in everything around me, and I forget. I forget the faces of dirty, barefoot children. I forget the shack houses that are hardly suitable for living in. I forget the rows and rows of fresh graves, filled with victims of diseases we can cure. It's easy to forget, or maybe to choose not to remember. We like to pretend that the hurt and sadness doesn't exist, or if it does, surely it's someone else's problem. We like to think that our world is not filled with disease, with violence, with people who are barely surviving. But who are we trying to kid? I've seen it first hand. I've played with children who maybe didn't have anything to eat that day. I've sat in houses that only just protect their inhabitants from wind and rain and cold. I've sat with and talked to a woman that single handedly cares for sixteen orphans whose parents have died from AIDS, and violence and who knows what else. I've seen the hurt. I've seen the suffering. But still I forget. Still I sit here, wrapped up in my own little problems and worries and try not to think of these things that I've seen. I worry about what to get so-and-so for their birthday, and about where I'm going to work this summer, and whether or not I should buy a new pair of jeans. And I say, "Yep. My heart breaks for all the people suffering. Sure wish I could help..." And my heart does break. But maybe not enough. The truth is, I don't always know what I can do. I would love to jump on a plane and fly back to Africa, or the Dominican, or some new place where I can serve. But I don't really see that happening in the near future. I would love to spend more than a few weeks on a short-term missions trip serving. But I'm also a full-time student, and I believe it's important for me to finish getting my degree. I would love to empty my bank account and send it to the missions organizations I've worked with. I would love to give money to every group that asks. But again, I'm a student, at a private university, and it costs a lot to get the degree that again, is important to get. I want to be able to go back and help, but still do everything I need to here. And then I start to think about all the places I haven't visited yet. About the thousands of orphans in Russia, of the schools being built in Ecuador and Pakistan, of the children sold into slavery and prostitution all over the world. How can you ease a whole world's sufferings? We always say that a person can change the world, but can they really? Can one person change the world? Yes, I know that with God all things are possible and that through him I can do all things. But how? Even Mother Teresa didn't solve all the world's problems; didn't reach the entire world with her message. Where does one even start?

I've been reading this blog recently about a girl who is living and working and doing some incredible things in Uganda. She's not much older than I am. You can find her blog here. (A word of warning: Once you start reading her blog, you won't want to stop!) In one of her posts she writes, "I am not here to eliminate poverty, to eradicate disease, to put a stop to abandoning babies. I am just here to love." I get so bogged down with how we can erase the heartache, disease, poverty, violence and injustice in our world. I don't know that we can. But I do know that we can love. So God, who would you have me love?

A Mighty Fortress Is Our God

Some wonderful words of encouragement...

A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing;

Our helper He, amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing:

For still our ancient foe doth seek to work us woe;

His craft and power are great, and, armed with cruel hate,

On earth is not his equal.

Did we in our own strengths confide, our striving would be losing;

Were not the right Man on our side, the Man of God's own choosing:

Dost ask who that may be? Christ Jesus it is He;

Lord Sabaoth, His Name, from age to age the same;

And He must win the battle.

And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us;

We will not fear, for God has willed His truth to triumph through us:

The prince of darkness grim we tremble not for him;

His rage we can endure, for lo! His doom is sure,

One little word shell fell him.

That word above all earthly powers, no thanks to them, abideth;

The Spirit and the gifts are ours through Him who with us sideth:

Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also;

The body they may kill, God's truth abideth still,

His kingdom is forever!

November

Two posts in one week?! I'm on a roll!

November-

I feel like November must have been twice as long as most months, because it was jammed-packed with fun stuffs! Started November off with soccer, what else? For the first time ever Greenville Women's Soccer not only got the second seed in conference, but also got to host the semi-final match. Against our rivals, no less! And we OWNED that game. 6-1 baby! This put us going to the Conference tournament game against powerhouse Principia. Unfortunately after a long fought game, we didn't make it on to the NCAA tournament. But second in Conference is still pretty sweet (and turns out the season wasn't quite done yet!).

Because we didn't make it on to the NCAA tourny, I got to go out to California to spend some time with the bestie! I had a great time with Kirsten and John as we (they...not me) took engagement photos, and as we all walked around the beaches, ate lots of yummy foods, visited Hollywood, and did all kinds of fun things that one does in California! I got to see and touch the ocean for the first time (one down, three to go!) as well as visiting California for the first time! It was a great, and much needed time away from Greenville. I just need AirTran to mess up a few more times so I can keep getting free tickets!! ;)

Upon getting back to Greenville I shifted my focus back to soccer because, as I said, our season wasn't quite over. We didn't make it to the NCAA tournament, but our team qualified to try for the NCCAA tournament, the National Christian tournament. So after a week of practices we headed up to Chicago to play Trinity International in the first-round regional game. It was so much fun to travel with my girls another time (and pick whatever movies we wanted since the boys weren't with us!) and while we didn't win the game, we had an awesome time! Both teams put up a heck of a fight, and in the end it was TIU to pull off the win. Losses are disappointing, but I'm told that's not what I'll remember twenty years from now. What I will remember is the crazy singing, the devotional times we shared, the times walking around the mall, the laughter and the fun things we did. So while we say goodbye to that season, I will never forget all the crazy times we had, nor will I forget the girls that made those times so awesome. You know I love those girls...

The next week was Thanksgiving! I won't go into too much detail since I already wrote about that day somewhat. I will say that I had such a good time with family and friends. AND that I ate FAR too much! Mmm. I love me a home-cooked meal! I also love long car rides (well sometimes) with good friends with whom I can have wonderful conversations. Thanksgiving weekend was another good and needed break, but I was still ready to come back and see my friends!

And then I came back to school and started to work to get ready for finals. I tell you though, I think I've had more homework this week than I've had this whole semester. Whew. I'm ready for it to be done! So here's to December! Wonder what this month will bring me...

Until next time!

World AIDS Day

Last week I started working on a presentation I'll be giving in my World Religions class. I chose the topic of AIDS in Africa, and, more specifically, how abstinence programs are helping to combat this pandemic. As today is World AIDS Day, I thought I would share some of the staggering facts about this disease with you.

AIDS is very real, though there have been several leaders that have tried to tell us otherwise. It is single handedly the largest killer in Africa, and many other countries as well. There is an estimated 33 million people living with the HIV/AIDS virus in the world. 22.4 million of those people live in Sub-Saharan Africa. In Southern African countries somewhere between 15-20% of all adults are infected. I read a quote that said, "Each day 6000 Africans die from AIDS. Each day an additional 11,000 are infected." 6000 Africans dying of AIDS every single day. This figure just blows my mind.

An estimated 42,000 children have been orphaned due to losing one or both parents to AIDS. 90% of children who are infected with AIDS live in Sub-Saharan Africa. Of those children, most will die before they reach the age of two. Of the few that survive to adolescence they will most likely be stunted and severely underweight. Most children infected with the virus will not survive to adulthood. I can put faces with these figures. And it breaks my heart.

South Africa has more people infected with the virus than any other country in the world. In 2009 South Africa had close to 6 million people living with AIDS. This was roughly 18% of all South African adults. Life expectancy is around 50. Life expectancy in the U.S. is around 80. In 2007 there were 350,000 HIV/AIDS related deaths in this country of just under 50 million people.

When I went to South Africa in 2007, I was exposed to the AIDS epidemic for probably the first time in my life. One of the missionaries my team worked with drove us past a cemetery (of which there are many in Johannesburg) filled with rows and rows of fresh graves. She told us that in their part of Joberg the cemeteries only do burials on Saturdays. Each Saturday, that small cemetery would be filled with 30 new graves. Nearly all of those were AIDS victims. Throughout the whole trip we were told to be extremely cautious when dealing with cuts. Though it's impossible to know which of the children were infected, chances are several were. Some of those kids will not be there the next time I go to South Africa. One of our translators on the trip was a mMa who at that time was caring for sixteen orphans. Almost all had lost their parents to AIDS. AIDS is very, very real.

It's sobering to think about. It makes me sad and angry at the same time. How can so many people be suffering from this? Why isn't more being do

ne? What even can be done? I don't know the answer to these questions. All I know is that we can pray. Pray for the people infected. Pray for those that haven't been infected. Pray for the governments of these people that they would be willing and seeking help, that they would not be so corrupted that they stop looking out for the well-being of their people. Pray for the missionaries. That the words of Truth they share would take seed in the hearts of the people of Africa. That through these missionaries people would be educated on abstinence, and how a Biblical view of sex and marriage can greatly combat the spread of this disease. Pray.

That is all we can do.

mMa Jikalano (spell check??), Kirsten and I playing Duck, Duck Goose at the VBS in Sondela.

thankful.

Today, November 25th 2010, is Thanksgiving. A day for Americans to eat until they can't breathe, then sleep it off while the sounds of football play in the background. It's a day of mental preparation for one of the most intense shopping days of the year. It's a day off work and school, a time to see family, and a day to forget about counting calories. Sounds fun, yeah? Indeed it is. But Thanksgiving is also a time of actually giving thanks. Imagine that! Reflecting on the things God has given us? On a day set aside specifically for giving thanks? What a wonderful idea! So...here is what I am thankful for on this fine Thanksgiving Day.

Family.

I am so very thankful for my family. They do so much for me, even from hundreds of miles away. And they support me in everything I do or set out do do. As I was sitting through some freezing soccer games this season, I was reminded of the numerous miserable soccer games and cross country meets that my parents came and watched me at. Even now, they try to make it to as many games as possible, though the drive is substantially farther than it was in high school. I am so grateful for that support. I'm thankful for my brothers who make me laugh on a daily basis. And though they're goofy and fight all the time, I know they would fight tooth and nail for me. I, likewise, would do anything for them. I'm thankful for my grandparents who continually open their home for me, drive to pick me up from places, do fun crafts with me, make delicious foods, and shower me with wonderful thrift store gifts. I am lucky to still have all four of my grandparents who have continually shown me love and support. Most importantly, I am thankful for the Christ-like example my whole family has shown me over the years.

Friends.

I have the most wonderful friends. Ever. Period. I've been blessed with a solid group of Christian friends and an awesome group of friends from high school. Though I've gone from Illinois, to Wisconsin, and now back to Illinois, I've been able to make and keep some really great friendships. Some I've been friends with my whole life, and I can't remember a time when they weren't a part of my life. Others were more recent additions. But all of them have had special impact and have been rich blessings in my life. I love all the laughter and crazy times we've had. So I am thankful for all of you, dear friends! Thanks for putting up with me. :)

School.

Though I complain about the price tag, and the amount of homework I have to do, I am grateful for the opportunity I've been given to attend Greenville College (and school in general). Recently I read the book Three Cups of Tea and was again struck by how much of a blessing it is to be able to attend school. There are kids all over the world who have not had that privilege and who may never get the chance to attend school as I have had my whole life. Not only am I thankful for the chance to go to school, I am thankful for the school itself. I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed being able to pray and worship openly with my fellow students and my professors. I think the first time I was told that my homework would come from reading the Bible was one of the coolest things I've experienced. Also having my professors and coaches pray over me has been an awesome and rewarding experience. I am grateful for this body of believers that help me to grow scholastically and individually.

Spanish.

I am thankful for the ability to learn and speak another language. Yes, it is hard. And yes, I frequently complain about it. But I am so excited to see what opportunities being able to speak Spanish will bring me. And I am thankful because I know that not everyone can grasp the workings of other languages. But God has blessed me with that ability and I know that he will help me to use the skills I am learning for his glory.

God.

God has richly blessed me in every aspect of my life. Most of all, I am thankful for him. He who has provided in ways I can't even begin to fathom. Even when I don't follow his plan and try to do things on my own. Even when I stumble and fall. God is there to pick me up. He has a plan for my life, and is working for my good. The Master and Creator of the Universe cares intimately for me. This is amazing to me. I have done nothing to deserve him, and have nothing I can give back to me. But he loves me. And always will. And he (only he) has made it possible for us to live with him forever. I anxiously await that day. There is nothing I am more thankful for, for from him and through him and to him are all things. And he loves me. I am blessed.

There is so much more I could list that I'm thankful for. These are the big things in my life, the things I hold near and dear. Maybe a future post will explore the more minute details of life that I am thankful for. As I prepare to take a post-turkey nap (coma?!), I leave you with a challenge to really take time to give thanks. One day a year is not nearly enough. I fall prey to this as much as the next person. But we have been given much, and should take time to reflect on the things we have been given.

"For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen."

-Romans 11:36 (NLT)

Books to Read Before I Die

Today I finished one of the books on my "To read before I die list!" I've been reading John Piper's "Desiring God" since the end of this summer and I finally finished it today! Good book- lots in it, but thought provoking. I'm slowly crossing off and rapidly adding to this list of books I want to read or have been told I need to read. It's an ever-growing list, but I feel very accomplished when I do get to cross off a title! So here's my list, in no particular order. I'll read them as I come across them (I just started Sense and Sensibility as I found it on my roommate's shelf). Some were recommendations, others ones I've heard of but never read, and still others are some that are in my possession but have never been read. Any you'd like to add to it? Or think I should add to it? I'm always up for new reads and this is in no way a set list!

-Don Quixote, Miguel de Cervantes (I haven't decided if I want to read it in Spanish or English yet. Maybe both!) (Check February 2011-English)

-One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez

-Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston

-In the Time of Butterflies, Julia Alverez

-Uncle Tom's Cabin, Harriet Beecher Stowe (Check May 2011)

-Great Expectations, Charles Dickens

-Heart of Darkness, Joseph Conrad (check February 2012)

-Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck (Check April 1 2011, no joke!)

-On the Road, Jack Kerouac

-Les Miserables (Unabridged), Victor Hugo

-The Hobbit, J.R.R Tolkein

-The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R Tolkein (Check July 2011)

-The Two Towers, J.R.R. Tolkein (Check July 2011)

-The Return of the King, J.R.R Tolkein (Check August 1 2011)

-Atonement, Ian McEwan (Check June 2011- I was disappointed with this one...)

-1984, George Orwell

-All of C.S. Lewis' works (I'll enter them as I finish them instead of making a huge list of one author's works)

-Till We Have Faces (Check December 2010)
     -Mere Christianity (Check 2009)
     -Chronicles of Narnia (Check, several times!)
     -Screwtape Letters (Check June 2011)

-Just do Something, Kevin DeYoung (Check June 2010)

-East of Eden, John Steinbeck

-Faith Like Potatoes, Angus Buchan

-Don't Waste Your Life, John Piper

-Desiring God, John Piper (Check November 2010)

-Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austin (Check November 2010)
-Persuasion, Jane Austin (Check January 2012)
-Northanger Abbey, Jane Austin (Check April 2012)
-Mansfield Park, Jane Austin (Check May 2012)

-Count of Monte Cristo (Unabridged), Alaxandre Dumas

-Passion of Jesus Christ, John Piper

-Three Cups of Tea, Greg Mortenson, David Oliver Relin (Check November 2010)

-The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoyevski

-The Death of Ivan Ilyich, Leo Tolstoy (Check December 2010)

-The Subversion of Christianity, Jacques Ellul

-Your God is too Small, JB Phillips

-Eternity in their Hearts, Don Richardson

-Amusing Ourselves to Death, Neil Postman

-The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver

-Half the Sky, Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn

-We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow We Will be Killed with our Families, Phillip Gourevitch

-La sombra del viento, Carlos Ruiz Zafón (I've read it in English, but I'd like to read it in the original as well)

-Truck: A Love Story, Michael Perry

-I Would Die For You, Brent & Deanna Higgins

-Gulliver's Travels, Jonathan Swift (check November 2011)
-Robinson Crusoe, Daniel Defoe
-Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte (check March 2011)
-Stuff Christians Like, Jonathan Acuff
-Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
-A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess
-Lord of the Flies, William Golding
-Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger (Check August 2011)
-Silent Spring, Rachel Carson
-The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins (check February 2012)
-Born To Run, Christopher McDougall
-I, Rigoberta Menchu, Rigoberta Menchu
-Paradise in Ashes, Beatriz Manz
-When Helping Hurts, Steve Corbett & Brian Fikkert
-Guns, Germs, and Steel, Jared M. Diamond
-The Hole in our Gospel, Richard Stearns
-My Utmost for his Highest, Oswald Chambers

October

Another month has come and gone away. So long October, hello November! Every time a month passes here at Greenville, I am again reminded of how quickly time flies. So, for your sakes (whoever you may be) I will take a moment to reflect on what October brought me.

I started October right after having a wonderful visit from my parents. They came down to spend a few days here in the Ville, see a few soccer games (one win, one loss), eat at the new restaurants in town, see the sights (of which there are so very many in Greenville!) and help me figure some things out for the upcoming months and years. I will never be too old to get a hug from my parents while I'm upset over something that's out of my control. It was so good to have them here for a few days, to get some groceries :) and some much needed advice. I am so grateful for the example my parents lead and the love they continually show me. I am also constantly encouraged at the support they show me in whatever I choose to do.

October brought me an excessive amount of soccer games. When I look back at my planner from October it seemed that all we did was play soccer! Not that I'm complaining, we've had a fantastic season and played some really good games during October. There were a lot of wins, a few losses and a tie, and a whole bunch of really good memories. October also included two overnight soccer trips. I took my first trip to Kentucky for a big win over Spalding and after a big Homecoming win (!) we took off for our annual trip to Chicago. After spending some quality time at Chipotle with my dear friends Kirsten and Rebecca, and a lot of walking around the downtown area we played (and tied) one of the toughest teams we'll play all season. My dad came down for that game so we got to sit and talk during the guy's game. :) It was a very short visit, but a good one none the less. That next weekend we lost to Webster for the second time, but I was able to drive up to Champaign to visit with my momma, grandma, aunt, great aunt, and my uncle. Another quick visit, but one that brought a much needed break from the day to day Greenville life. Finished off October with two more wins and a wonderful senior day. I'm so glad to have been able to play with these seven girls for two years. They are all amazing players and friends, and their presence will be missed next year. Love the times we have all had together!

October of course brought classes and homework too, but I try not to dwell on those. ;) Classes, toiling over Spanish papers, and preparing for tests in no way compare to all the fun times we had. Which, we most definitely made time for. Banangrams, camp fires, Freak Show Fridays, and Haunted Houses, Family Dinners, trips to Edwardsville for church, movie nights, and just going crazy with my girls! Who ever said there's nothing to do in Greenville never hung out with my friends and I!

All in all, October was a very fun and busy month. Much soccer, family and fun made for another great time at good old Greenville College. And that's all I have to say about that! :)