A world of hurt

Sometimes I think we're too comfortable. When I'm sitting here in my cozy dorm room, with an abundance of stuff surrounding me, plenty of clothes that I don't wear, and easy access to an unending supply of food, I forget about the hurt I've seen. I sit here, and I complain about not having money to buy the stuff I need (or want), and I whine about how I don't have this and that, and I get so caught up in everything around me, and I forget. I forget the faces of dirty, barefoot children. I forget the shack houses that are hardly suitable for living in. I forget the rows and rows of fresh graves, filled with victims of diseases we can cure. It's easy to forget, or maybe to choose not to remember. We like to pretend that the hurt and sadness doesn't exist, or if it does, surely it's someone else's problem. We like to think that our world is not filled with disease, with violence, with people who are barely surviving. But who are we trying to kid? I've seen it first hand. I've played with children who maybe didn't have anything to eat that day. I've sat in houses that only just protect their inhabitants from wind and rain and cold. I've sat with and talked to a woman that single handedly cares for sixteen orphans whose parents have died from AIDS, and violence and who knows what else. I've seen the hurt. I've seen the suffering. But still I forget. Still I sit here, wrapped up in my own little problems and worries and try not to think of these things that I've seen. I worry about what to get so-and-so for their birthday, and about where I'm going to work this summer, and whether or not I should buy a new pair of jeans. And I say, "Yep. My heart breaks for all the people suffering. Sure wish I could help..." And my heart does break. But maybe not enough. The truth is, I don't always know what I can do. I would love to jump on a plane and fly back to Africa, or the Dominican, or some new place where I can serve. But I don't really see that happening in the near future. I would love to spend more than a few weeks on a short-term missions trip serving. But I'm also a full-time student, and I believe it's important for me to finish getting my degree. I would love to empty my bank account and send it to the missions organizations I've worked with. I would love to give money to every group that asks. But again, I'm a student, at a private university, and it costs a lot to get the degree that again, is important to get. I want to be able to go back and help, but still do everything I need to here. And then I start to think about all the places I haven't visited yet. About the thousands of orphans in Russia, of the schools being built in Ecuador and Pakistan, of the children sold into slavery and prostitution all over the world. How can you ease a whole world's sufferings? We always say that a person can change the world, but can they really? Can one person change the world? Yes, I know that with God all things are possible and that through him I can do all things. But how? Even Mother Teresa didn't solve all the world's problems; didn't reach the entire world with her message. Where does one even start?

I've been reading this blog recently about a girl who is living and working and doing some incredible things in Uganda. She's not much older than I am. You can find her blog here. (A word of warning: Once you start reading her blog, you won't want to stop!) In one of her posts she writes, "I am not here to eliminate poverty, to eradicate disease, to put a stop to abandoning babies. I am just here to love." I get so bogged down with how we can erase the heartache, disease, poverty, violence and injustice in our world. I don't know that we can. But I do know that we can love. So God, who would you have me love?