Do you remember the book "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"? It used to be one of my favorite books; my mom would read it to my brothers and I all the time. Alexander wakes up to find gum in his hair, trips over the skateboard, gets his sweater wet, and from that moment on knows he is about to have an awful day. It's just down hill from there. Things continue to go from bad to worse and Alexander finally decides he's going to move to Australia where things are sure to be better. The book ends with Alexander's mom reminding him that everyone has bad days, even people in Australia. Things will surely be better in the morning.
Just before finals I found myself having one such day. From the moment I woke up, I could just tell it was not going to be a good day. I was stressed about finals, and papers, and projects, and presentations (of which I had MANY in the days leading up to finals) and it seemed that everything was crashing down all at once. I was frustrated with teachers who weren't giving clear directions on assignments, I was frustrated that classes weren't as easy as they should have been, I was frustrated that my grades weren't where I wanted them to be. I was feeling lonely, and overtired, and in an especially self-pitying mood. It was just one of those days. When you're just down about everything, and can't see a way out of the darkness you're in. The beauty of it is, there's one who can and will see us through. Here's a journal entry from the day after that particularly rough day. Hopefully it can be an encouragement to someone else out there.
Rachel and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Not my finest moment, I'll admit. But the beauty of it is, I can go to bed completely broken (lying awake wondering why things were so bad, praying tomorrow will be better) and lonely and sick of the world, and wake up with a completely new, refreshed spirit. Further proof that God has not left me. I am not and never will be alone. It's true what they say, though. The darkest part really is right before the dawn. Sometimes we have to get to that lowest point in order to see clearly, in order to be brought back to the light. Sometimes we have to be brought just a little lower to even want to be brought back up. That's the thing of it, isn't it? Sometimes we like our complacency. We like the pity parties we throw ourselves, we like to wallow in that self-inflicted darkness. And it takes us to getting to a point of not knowing which way is up, which step is next, what is best, to be able to look past ourselves at the hand waiting to pull us up. He will be there, ready to get us back to where we need to be. It's foolish to question whether or not he's really there. Of course he is. He promised to never leave us or forsake us. He is and always will be with me. Sometimes it's me that moves away. I get to this point when I can barely even hear him. It's not that he's stopped giving instructions, it's just that I've moved to a place where it's hard to hear. Sometimes I choose not to listen. But that doesn't mean he's left me. Far from. He is there. My one constant when all else is shaken. Waking up to the daylight doesn't erase the hurt. It doesn't immediately make it all better. But I'd for sure rather be in the daylight than wrapped in the darkness!
Psalm 18:28
"My God turns my darkness into light."
'Daylight', Remedy Drive
Has everything you've counted on
left you right here with no warning
Have your dreams become invisible
wait with me, dear, till the morning
light will make the night burn out.
Hold on- daylight is coming
Daylight is coming to break the dawn
Daylight is coming
The brightest stars are falling down
Is hope lost in the black skies
The darkness must precede the dawn
Hold on till sunrise
Light will make your night fade out
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