Teaching Chinese

Let me rephrase. I'm teaching English. To the Chinese. Or rather, to some Chinese. More specifically, to a small group of Chinese students who are at Greenville for the purpose of learning English. So I'm teaching English...not Chinese. I don't know Chinese. I know that the word for "hello" sounds like knee how, "I love you" waEHknee, and "class is done" sounds like shaKU. That's the extent of my knowledge, and I have no clue how to form any of the characters for those few words. But I know English, and I know that you put the stress on the first syllable of the word English, and I'm told this will help my students as they take English Pronunciation Level 3. We're just over the halfway point of their 7 week course, and I'm doing my best to impart my knowledge of pronouncing English, and becoming ever more grateful that I didn't have to learn English as a second language.

I know what you're thinking. Rachel's in a classroom again. She is surely going to teach after Greenville. But I'm not. Well, I don't know what I'm going to do, but I still don't plan on teaching. The thought of having to make lesson plans and use them every day makes me want to...I was going to say shoot myself, but that's perhaps over dramatic. All that to say, I don't want to teach. And I don't think I will be in a classroom after graduation.

I don't like it. I don't like standing up in front of students reading from a textbook. I don't like lesson planning. I don't like thinking, "Will this make sense to them?... Does this make sense to me?" I don't like taking phones away because my students aren't paying attention. I don't like having to wake kids up in my class when they clearly don't care about what we're learning. I don't like being told, "This isn't important." I don't like repeating lessons over and over. I don't like playing teacher to kids just a few years younger than I am. I don't like when I can't understand their English, and try to make them repeat things too many times. I don't like the blank stares when they don't understand.

This isn't to say that it's all bad. I like getting paychecks! And I get paid to teach two hours every day, which doesn't seem like a lot, but ask any unemployed, full time college student and they will tell you that it is, in fact, a lot. Somedays I like that I have to play dress-up to go teach. No sweats for Rach this semester! Shocking, I know. I like when my students correctly guess how to pronounce or define a word I didn't think they would know. I like when they take an interest in my Spanish speaking abilities. I like when we have game days and we share words in different languages back and forth. I like when we play telephone with minimal pair words, and they are laughing too hard to talk, because they know they aren't pronouncing the word right, but don't know how to change it. I like when we talk about alien movies and conspiracy theories. And when they tell me how big badminton is in China. I like when they do their readings and I can hear them trying to use the language like we've showed them. I like when they call me professor because they can't remember my name (I am hardly a professor!). I like the days when they're alert and attentive and they get it.

Yes, I like when they get it. Then I don't mind teaching so much. Some days...

Pre-Greenville happenings

Back in Greenville for my last semester! Crazy!! Classes are a week into full swing, and are definitely keeping me busy. But before I came back to Greenville I:

Visited Samantha and watched the Badgers play! (dang free throws!)

And then I visited my dear friend Em Rose who I haven't seen since she graduated in May! I'm so excited that she's back to living in the midwest. :) I do dearly love this girl.

And THEN I went to St. Louis with Kayla to celebrate my dear friend Kimmy's birthday. Sorry, no picture of this one, but know that it was loads of fun as we ran around Sports Fusion acting like the over-grown children that we really are. :) Blessed with wonderfully, silly friends.

And now I'm back in school, doing classes, and...teaching! ESL classes to Chinese students. But more on that on another day. I need to get to doing some homework so I can have fun tomorrow during the Super Bowl. Guac will be made and enjoyed.

Looking Back: 2012

2012 was a big year for me. Here are some (a few of many!) highlights.

In 2012 I...

-spent 4 months in Guatemala! I say it was a highlight of the year, and it definitely was, but it is something I will remember for the rest of my life. I learned so much during this time, and am so grateful for the time I spent there.

-made new friends

-watched the Beautiful game. Once live, and many times on tv with Don Carlos.

-taught English to a bunch of elementary school kids and stepped way outside of my comfort zone. But God is good, and I grew to love it...and them!

-got my 2nd Star Wars filming location shot by visiting Tikal, by far one of the coolest places I've seen in any of my travels.

-drank lots of coffee, here and abroad

-turned 21! Definitely won't be forgetting this birthday anytime soon. And definitely not celebrated in your typical 21st fashion.

-experienced Holy Week, Guatemala style

-learned how to barter

-came back to school and made so many new friends!

-finished out my competitive soccer career, and beat Prin!

-got a puppy (ok my parents did, but close enough...right?)

-spent time with family 

-became a barista

-staffed a week at camp

-cheered on my girls to a 1st time victory over Principia College

-watched many movies

-got a car

-studied too much ;)

-finished COR 401!

-became a 2nd semester senior

-conquered my toughest semester yet

-laughed, lived, and loved much

here's to 2013 and all it may bring!

In the midst of tragedy.

We can never hope to make sense of the tragedies that have occurred in this world and during this holiday time. This is not an issue of too much or too little legislation, of not enough security, or of unprepared teachers. We live in an evil, and fallen world. Outside of the gospel of Christ there is no hope, there is no good to be found in the senseless killings of precious little ones. But Christ has come, yes, the very reason we celebrate this time of year, to bring restoration. He is the light in this dark world. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul. When there is nothing left to hold on to, there is Him. And we do hold on to Him now. And we pray for His peace during this time.

tears are falling, hearts are breaking

how we need to hear from God.

you've been promised, we've been waiting

welcome Holy Child,

welcome Holy Child.

hope that you don't mind our manger,

how I wish we would have known.

But long awaited Holy Stranger,

make yourself at home.

Please make yourself at home.

Bring your peace into our violence.

Bid our hungry souls be filled.

Word now breaking heaven's silence,

welcome to our world.

Welcome to our world.

fragile finger sent to heal us,

tender brow prepared for thorn,

tiny heart whose blood will save us,

unto us is born,

unto us is born.

So wrap our injured flesh around you,

breathe our air and walk our sod.

Rob our sin and make us holy, 

perfect Son of God

perfect Son of God.

Welcome to our world.

Soccer's Close

My competitive soccer career has come to an end, after nearly 17 years (what in the world?!). Hard to believe. I feel like I've always...correction.... I have always had soccer in my life! Not that it's left completely now, I just probably won't play competitively again. It's been a good ride, and I'm so blessed by all the teammates, coaches, parents and fans who have been a part of that for me. I'm especially thankful for all the friendships I've made through soccer over the last four years. After high school, I didn't plan on playing soccer, and I'm grateful for Greenville giving me the chance to play for a few more years. Soccer's helped me to grow, and the past four years on this team have helped me solidify who I am on and off the field. I've had some time to process the fact that it's done now, and have made a (in no way complete) list of some favorite memories...which may or may not make sense to any of you...
1) Beating Prin. Hands down the best win of my life. Nothing will come close to that again.
2) Pranking the coaches. (I mean, not that I would do anything like that...)
3) Mac's room not getting cleaned after the previous people stayed there. Bachelorette party...that's all I'll say.
4) Annie verbally abusing the ball boy.
5) Zipping Em's coat: Issues.
6) Jenny whipping off her shirt SO fast when Zig was about to pass out so they could put water on it and put it around Zig's neck.
7) Playing soccer volleyball instead of practice one day.
8) Handball instead of practice another.
9) Kim-Kim and I making weird noises during indoor that no one else ever noticed.
10) Mac announcing at half time that his wife was pregnant
11) Music with Bee and Jon
12) Mark's song in Texas
13) Getting to travel with my cousin my freshman year
14) T straight picking up Tom when he got injured
15) Red coaching me during our very first game. While she played next to me.
16) Flat tires
17) Playing the freeze game to trick the coaches
18) Andy and Jon being attached for partners kickball
19) Dance parties
20) Mac putting in March of the Penguins on the way to Chicago...what?? haha!
21) The River Walk
22) Wobbling at every gas station
23) Chili cook-off
24) Snipers
25) When Jon told the ref he was on a power trip and got a card
26) Abby telling me to "say a prayer, preach" when some girl took me out
27) Mindy helping me through my first 120s
28) Senior Song
29) Singing for Bible Study
30) Singing "Love the way you lie" at devo time
31) Unlimited Budgets...oh wait.
32) Chicago trips
33) Spiders in your shin guard!
34) New friendships
35) Becoming family
36) Making fun of Ohio State because it ticked Mac off
37) Wiggle face game
38) Freak Show Fridays
39) Scavenger Hunts
40) My girls. Every year.

And so many more.

A memory.

Alison and I are sitting at the dinner table with Don Elario y Doña Dolores, Rosaldo y Noel. It's our last week with this precious family. Last dinner we would eat with them, I think. Doña Dolores (loving, wonderful woman that she is) gives us each a parting gift. A cute little bag with a Quetzal embroidered onto the bright colored fabric. It's their national bird, the Quetzal. National everything it seems. They're proud of this green bird with the long, bright tail. Proud of their small home. Proud of their family. We talk about the Quetzal. About where he lives and how quiet you have to be to even hope to see him. Don Elario makes his little humming noise as he talks, his hands moving to further describe whatever scene he's spinning for us. They ask if we have national symbols. Always equally curious about our culture as we are of theirs. A national bird? Do you have one? Yes! Something to share. It's an eagle. A...how do you say bald? We try to describe it. It has white...what's the word for feathers again? We look at each other helplessly. Black. The body is black. And his head is white. So he looks...pelón! Doña Dolores understands what we're trying to say. It isn't really bald, just looks like it. And she laughs. What a precious laugh that woman had. She covers her face and she laughs. And mutters pelón under her breath. And we laugh. Because her laugh is infectious. And she has the giggles because of the bird that looks bald and is our national bird. She stops for a moment, and then it comes back and we hear pelón again with that delightful laughter. Don Elario laughs too. And we laugh. And Rosaldo plays with Noel and she laughs. And we're a family, of unusual sorts, sitting around a small table in a small house in Guatemala. And we're leaving soon. But we laugh with this family, because that's what they've become. And we hope one day we'll be able to come back and talk about birds with bald heads so we can laugh with them some more.

What I learned, Final Edition

It's been awhile. Sorry about that. Just been trying to process everything that went on. I don't know that I ever fully will...Here's what I shared in church on Sunday (find the earlier segments of Things I Learned here, here, and here.).

What I learned, Final Edition

I learned Spanish! I was fully submersed and received one-on-one training giving me some of the best Spanish lessons I have had in eight years of studying.

I learned the climb can be brutal, and the journey tough, but the view from the top is always worth it.

I learned Guatemalan history from a Guatemalan perspective, both recent and from many, many years ago. I saw this history come to life as I stood in front of Tikal for my second Star Wars filming location shot.

I learned to listen to people's stories. I learned about Juliana and Rosaldo who make their living selling trinkets in the park. I learned about Sergio whose son is head of the Obama campaign and who assured my roommate and I that we were proof that our generation could be more than what we've settled for. I met Alfondo who is about 70 and plays the accordian in the park simply because he loves to make music and make people happy. I learned about Dolores, Beatriz, Elario, and Nellie and I learned about their lives, how we're different, but more often how we're the same.

I learned how to love, even when it's hard, or you don't speak the language well, or when you have to tell Alejandro for the 5th time to stop eating his colored pencil box. Every child, every grown-up too wants to be loved. Even when I'm at my worst, God helps us love.

I learned that smiles are beautiful, but sometimes as you're learning to love and learning people's stories, you find hurt beneath smiles. You find broken hearts, homes, and relationships. And it becomes hard to love the mom who abandoned four sweet smiles. But through it all the smiles stay and you remember the importance of showing love to every smile.

I learned God is bigger than our cultural differences. I don't speak perfect Spanish, but I can read out of my Bible in front of an all Spanish speaking church, because He is bigger than my inadequacies. I can sit with a host family who doesn't know me from any other gringo and have wonderful discussions about God because he's the same for me and for them. I can attend a Baptismal Service and feel completely at home because we serve the same God. And we know that He is bigger than our language barriers, our differences and our separate lives. He is big. And He is good.

I learned the importance the Latin American Catholic Church places on Christ on the cross. And this is good. It's important to celebrate this. But far more important is the Risen Lamb. For without the resurrection, He's just another man.

I learned to listen. Everyone has a story to tell. And all every child wants is someone to tell those stories to. Even when they're speaking too fast for any native speaker to understand, and when when you've already asked for clarification 4 times, they still want to be held and listened to. So when Roxi plops in your lap and says, "let's gossip" and starts to tell you about her new pet turtle, you listen. And you show her she's important and valued.

And finally, I learned I am capable of far more than I thought. Or rather, God is capable of doing things far greater than I ever could have imagined. Like taking a girl who does not want to teach* and showing her that not only is she capable of teaching, but that He will give her strength she didn't know she had and make teaching be one of the best experiences of her life. He's bigger than my doubts, bigger than my fears, bigger than my plans, and bigger than my inadequacies. And He is far bigger than the box I try to put Him in. He is big. And so, so good. He is at work in this world.

*side note. Still don't feel that I'm being called to be a teacher. Just for further clarification.