Twas the night before classes would start, and all through the dorm the college kids were sleeping...except for me. Because I (stupidly) drank caffeine too late in the evening and then proceeded to watch an intense action thriller (but it was with Mark Wahlberg, so it's ok!). I didn't even drink that much, but I've practically cut it out of my system the past two weeks, and so now my body doesn't know what to do with this strange substance that is coursing through its veins. And to top it off I'm like a 4th grader all nervous and excited for the first day of school tomorrow. I mean, it's not like I'm about to start my junior year of college or anything... And yet, I keep having all these thoughts run through my brain as I try to sleep like, "Wait, did I buy enough notebooks?" or "Where is Marston again?" (kidding...) or "Oh no. I haven't packed my backpack yet. What if I don't have time in the morning? Maybe I should get up even earlier..." See? Just like a little kid. So instead of sleeping guess what I'm doing...You are so smart. Blogging. Rachel's cure for the "I can't sleep blues." (Not entirely true. I'm not really sure that staring at a computer screen helps, but it at least keeps my thoughts from bouncing all around my brains.)
But seriously. How crazy is it that I'm about to start my junior year of college? Let me just tell you....SO crazy. I'd say that it seems like yesterday when I was about to start my freshmen year, but I'm not sure that it really feels like it was yesterday. Yesterday kind of seems like yesterday, if that makes any sense. And freshmen year kind of seems like a long time ago. But at the same time I'm sitting here thinking, "Where did those two years get to?" I don't know what to tell you, Rachel. But you are, in fact, half-way done with college and about to start the other half. And it's time to stop dwelling on how crazy this all is and start focusing on the task at hand. That being school. (Actually it's time to sleep, but hopefully after a few more minutes of typing I'll get sleepy enough to do so.) Time to jump in and tackle this year. Make the most of my classes, apply myself, focus. Learn. Grow. And have some fun along the way. Of course. :) I can't possibly study all the time. I'd go absolutely mad! Well...a little mad at least. Alrighty then. 12:12 and I think it's high-time I got to bed. Goodnight, world!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
August 1st
How in the world is it already August 1st?! I could hardly believe it when I saw that this morning. August 1st means my summer is far too rapidly coming to a close, as in I now have to be back at school for soccer in 18 days. 18 days. And classes start two weeks after that. That is ridiculous.
I never really feel like I accomplish everything I hope to on these breaks. This summer vacation was no exception. That being said, I've been so busy I feel like I had to have accomplished something, right? So let's see...I worked two different jobs this summer, those being Media Specialist at camp until Daniel could take over and working as a nanny, which I still have this week and next to finish out. Can't say that I was meant to take care of other people's kids for the rest of my life, but it has been a decent job. Not too terribly difficult, pays decently...
I saw my two best friends safely married off to two amazing guys. I am so happy for these dear friends, and glad that I was able to share their special days with them. I also was able to attend the weddings of two cousins, two good friends from Greenville, and the wedding of a family friend, bringing the grand total to six weddings I attended, two of those I was in. Whew! Talk about summer of weddings! (There were even a few more weddings that we just weren't able to attend, as much as we wanted to.) It was so good to be able to share in the joy of all these couples as they start their new lives together. In each one of these weddings I was able to see the love each couple had for each other, but more importantly the love they all have for God. I have been blessed with family and friends that love the Lord, and that love was made apparent in all of the weddings I attended this summer.
There have been many games of mini golf, watching movies with friends, morning runs, and pick-up soccer games this summer. A trip to Door Shakespeare with Samantha, Good Eggs, Wilson's ice cream and boat rides. Dinners with family, and many meals at camp. A trip to the Farm and hanging with my friends. And reading! Many trips to the library later and for the first time, I read the Lord of the Rings. They were excellent. Boat rides, trips to the beach and swimming in the lake. Coffee and skype dates. Time in the sun. Summer.
I am glad for the 2+ weeks I still have left, but all in all it has been a good summer, albeit perhaps not as productive as I would have liked it. :)
I never really feel like I accomplish everything I hope to on these breaks. This summer vacation was no exception. That being said, I've been so busy I feel like I had to have accomplished something, right? So let's see...I worked two different jobs this summer, those being Media Specialist at camp until Daniel could take over and working as a nanny, which I still have this week and next to finish out. Can't say that I was meant to take care of other people's kids for the rest of my life, but it has been a decent job. Not too terribly difficult, pays decently...
I saw my two best friends safely married off to two amazing guys. I am so happy for these dear friends, and glad that I was able to share their special days with them. I also was able to attend the weddings of two cousins, two good friends from Greenville, and the wedding of a family friend, bringing the grand total to six weddings I attended, two of those I was in. Whew! Talk about summer of weddings! (There were even a few more weddings that we just weren't able to attend, as much as we wanted to.) It was so good to be able to share in the joy of all these couples as they start their new lives together. In each one of these weddings I was able to see the love each couple had for each other, but more importantly the love they all have for God. I have been blessed with family and friends that love the Lord, and that love was made apparent in all of the weddings I attended this summer.
There have been many games of mini golf, watching movies with friends, morning runs, and pick-up soccer games this summer. A trip to Door Shakespeare with Samantha, Good Eggs, Wilson's ice cream and boat rides. Dinners with family, and many meals at camp. A trip to the Farm and hanging with my friends. And reading! Many trips to the library later and for the first time, I read the Lord of the Rings. They were excellent. Boat rides, trips to the beach and swimming in the lake. Coffee and skype dates. Time in the sun. Summer.
I am glad for the 2+ weeks I still have left, but all in all it has been a good summer, albeit perhaps not as productive as I would have liked it. :)
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Midnight (nearly) Storm
It is just a weensy bit too hot and sticky to attempt to sleep at the moment. And I figured that now was as good as any time to write, seeing as how I'd just be laying here otherwise. There's a bug crawling about my screen, and a beautiful lightning display out my window, my window which is closed tonight due to the inconvenience of rain, and would be, in part, why I cannot sleep as of yet. And whilst I do enjoy sleeping (especially when I have to get up early to go to the dentist), I also enjoy watching the lightning of this fine summer storm light up the woods around my house. So for a bit I shall pass the time looking out my window, blowing the bug off my screen and typing up some thoughts for you, my dear reader.
I'm always fairly amazed by storms. Such an amazing display of power. The storm tonight is rather mild, as far as storms go. Lightning aplenty, but rather more like heat lightning than the huge bolts we sometimes get. I don't imagine there will be much damage from this storm, thankfully! Just a good hard rain. It's like a strobe light is on outside of my window, and I'd be half tempted to have a dance party outside, if I weren't vaguely frightened of being struck by said lightning. The occasional giant bolt that lights up the woods like it's midday is enough to remind me that this is still a storm, and not a time to play in the rain. The thunder is rumbling gently, and would be a soothing sound to fall asleep to if it weren't so hot in here! My ceiling fan is on, but it's just moving the hot air around. I've kicked all the covers off my bed and am just laying on top of my bottom sheet, but I'm still sweating and sticking to myself. I shall try not to complain too much, because it could be worse. The power could go out and I would have no air movement at all. The storm could be much louder making it ever so much harder to sleep. I could be camping right now and be absolutely miserable as rain pours into my tent. The internet could be down as it is at camp (and then I wouldn't get to write to you!). And there could be so many things that would make this night worse than it is. So I shall try not to complain, and rather enjoy the lights display from the comfort of my bed. And I shall fall asleep to the sound of rain hitting my roof and the thunder rumbling in the distance and be grateful that I have a house and electricity and all the wonderful things the Lord has provided me with. Amen. And Good Night!
I'm always fairly amazed by storms. Such an amazing display of power. The storm tonight is rather mild, as far as storms go. Lightning aplenty, but rather more like heat lightning than the huge bolts we sometimes get. I don't imagine there will be much damage from this storm, thankfully! Just a good hard rain. It's like a strobe light is on outside of my window, and I'd be half tempted to have a dance party outside, if I weren't vaguely frightened of being struck by said lightning. The occasional giant bolt that lights up the woods like it's midday is enough to remind me that this is still a storm, and not a time to play in the rain. The thunder is rumbling gently, and would be a soothing sound to fall asleep to if it weren't so hot in here! My ceiling fan is on, but it's just moving the hot air around. I've kicked all the covers off my bed and am just laying on top of my bottom sheet, but I'm still sweating and sticking to myself. I shall try not to complain too much, because it could be worse. The power could go out and I would have no air movement at all. The storm could be much louder making it ever so much harder to sleep. I could be camping right now and be absolutely miserable as rain pours into my tent. The internet could be down as it is at camp (and then I wouldn't get to write to you!). And there could be so many things that would make this night worse than it is. So I shall try not to complain, and rather enjoy the lights display from the comfort of my bed. And I shall fall asleep to the sound of rain hitting my roof and the thunder rumbling in the distance and be grateful that I have a house and electricity and all the wonderful things the Lord has provided me with. Amen. And Good Night!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Wedding Weekend!
Ever since we were little, Kirsten and I dreamed of being in each other's wedding. I don't know that I ever really pictured what that day would be like, however. And then, before I knew it I was standing up in the front of CCC as my best friend walked down the isle to meet the Prince Charming we used to dream about. To describe it in a word, I would say something along the lines of...surreal? I am incredibly happy for Kirsten and John, but I'll admit it was pretty strange! Beautiful, fun, joyous...but surreal.
I don't know that I ever realized how much work it takes to put a wedding together before this past weekend. I've often heard "it takes a village" and in this case a church. It was amazing to see so many people come together to make Kirsten and John's wedding a beautiful event. Work started early on in the week to transform an otherwise ordinary gym into a gorgeous reception hall. I joined the festivities Wednesday afternoon, and the ladies worked hard all the way up until the wedding (there may have been a pedicure break somewhere during that time too :) ).
I don't know that I ever realized how much work it takes to put a wedding together before this past weekend. I've often heard "it takes a village" and in this case a church. It was amazing to see so many people come together to make Kirsten and John's wedding a beautiful event. Work started early on in the week to transform an otherwise ordinary gym into a gorgeous reception hall. I joined the festivities Wednesday afternoon, and the ladies worked hard all the way up until the wedding (there may have been a pedicure break somewhere during that time too :) ).
Beginning stages of decorating. Yards and yards of tulle and Christmas lights, candles, lanterns, flowers, pinecones, trees, ribbon, tables and so much more transformed the gym into a "fairy-land" as it happened to be called at one moment that weekend. :) It was truly beautiful.
Berries that were supposed to go into ice cube trays, but inadvertently landed on the ground...
Getting there! (above) Jess hung pinecone garlands on all of the lattices. (below) Christmas lights being wrapped in tulle and hung all throughout the gym.
Thursday night (after more decorating and errand running) was our Ladies' Night! We started off the evening at Tsukasa of Tokyo in Vernon Hills. Despite our somewhat unenthusiastic responses, we really did enjoy the tricks our chef performed while cooking the food. The cracking the egg bit was my personal favorite.
Getting ready!
Our personal chef. Though somewhat cheesy, it was fun watching him flip bowls of rice without spilling, flip broccoli at us to try and catch it in our mouths, and light stacks of onions on fire to look like a volcano.
Best friends forever life!
After dinner we headed back to Anna's house to shower our friend with some special gifts. :)
I had a great time talking and laughing with these ladies, as well as spend some time with the bride before she would become Kirsten Langley! (Still seems a little strange to say that!) Friday we spent most of the day decorating and then Friday night was the rehearsal and a cook-out dinner at the Langley's. And then it was wedding day!
All the girls got ready at the Richards' house Saturday morning. There was hairspray and curling irons and bobby pins everywhere! (Thanks again Melissa, Hannah, and Morgan for doing everyone's hair!) Kirsten looked like a princess all morning as she got her hair done, and as Karen did her nails (a few times!). We were all excited, but Kirsten was especially radiant as she got ready to walk down the isle. A few hours, pancakes, and cans of hairspray later and we were ready to head to the church.
Lots of hair to curl and pin up! The girls did a great job getting everyone looking beautiful.
Look at her getting all done up!
Hah! Classic. :)
Love these girls. Jess was having some problems with straps and her bracelet, but like true bridesmaids and friends we got her all straightened out.
We headed up to the church around three for final touch ups and pictures. Kirsten was absolutely stunning in her dress!
Reading a letter from her beloved.
Getting some help from the soon-to-be-bride Anna!
The beautiful Jess and I before the ceremony started. So glad I got to spend some time with her and catch up a bit! (We for sure need to do that more!)
The wedding ceremony went off without a hitch. Pastor Ken officiated, and we all had an awesome time of worship as we watched these two join their lives together. Kirsten and John stood before all of their friends and family and promised to love and support each other till they are parted by death.
I am so glad I was able to be a part of this special day, and celebrate with my best friend. John is the prince we always used to dream about, and I know he will always be there to care for Kirsten. I look forward to continuing my friendship with Kirsten now with the addition of John. I'm also excited to see how God will use these two on their new journey. Like we promised each other so long ago, I was there as Kirsten's maid-of-honor, and I know someday she will be there for me!
Congratulations and God Bless! Love you both dearly.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Summer Begins!
Sorry for the lack of posts lately! Just a quick update on life since being home.
Finals got done almost two weeks ago now. My parents came down that Friday and we managed (somehow!) to get all my stuff packed into the car and leave enough room for ourselves! It was a tight squeeze for sure. And once again I was reminded that I have way too much stuff! So one goal for this summer is to go through everything and clean it out. After getting everything packed in tight, my parents and I headed to Peoria for my cousin Joanna's wedding. And thus began the summer of weddings! We had a great time getting to see and spend time with family that we don't get to see all the time. Joanna and Matt's ceremony was beautiful, and I'm so glad to have been able to celebrate with them! I've been blessed with a big extended family that loves each other and more importantly loves God! It's always good to be with family.
After the wedding reception it was time to head back to Door County. Many hours in the car later, and I was home! Then began the task of unpacking, which I'll admit was a slower process than it should have been. I wanted to start the cleaning out process as I went, but there was so much to go through that I'm still not completely done...also probably because I get bored of working on it and typically fail at trying. :) Don't worry, someday it will happen. Someday...
The rest of my time home has been spent by doing some odd jobs, watching many episodes of Project Runway, and otherwise bumming! It's been too cold to do much outside, until today that is! Looking forward to getting some sun now for sure. Saturday my mom and I made a quick trip down to Zion for wedding #2 of the summer, and then headed over to Lake Geneva area for my cousin's graduation party. Again, it was great to see some friends and family that we don't see all the time. Julie and Jani are the last to graduate from the Finger clan. It's been fun to be able to celebrate several graduations between the Gregorniks and the Stewarts in the last several years.
We drove home that night making for a long day and a late night, but there's always a lot of stuff to do and it's hard to be gone for too long when we're just about to hit the busy season, which will (very) soon be upon us. Church on Sunday, and an 30th anniversary party for Rick and Joyce Johnson that night. I'm grateful for the influence these two wonderful people have had in my life for the past...I don't know how many years. I always feel welcomed from the moment I walk in to their home. They always make me feel like I'm just another part of their family! Monday was Memorial Day, which was spent (as per tradition) at a Fish Boil at the Weborgs. Love me a Door County fish boil! I also got to spend a little bit of time with my dear friends Jeni and Bonnie getting coffee at Brew Monday morning. So good to be able to catch up with these ladies for a bit! Today I spent the afternoon doing mulch for a camp neighbor. It was hard work, but I'm glad for the cash and a bit of sun I was able to get!
And that is life so far! Looking forward to wedding #3 this weekend!
Finals got done almost two weeks ago now. My parents came down that Friday and we managed (somehow!) to get all my stuff packed into the car and leave enough room for ourselves! It was a tight squeeze for sure. And once again I was reminded that I have way too much stuff! So one goal for this summer is to go through everything and clean it out. After getting everything packed in tight, my parents and I headed to Peoria for my cousin Joanna's wedding. And thus began the summer of weddings! We had a great time getting to see and spend time with family that we don't get to see all the time. Joanna and Matt's ceremony was beautiful, and I'm so glad to have been able to celebrate with them! I've been blessed with a big extended family that loves each other and more importantly loves God! It's always good to be with family.
The rest of my time home has been spent by doing some odd jobs, watching many episodes of Project Runway, and otherwise bumming! It's been too cold to do much outside, until today that is! Looking forward to getting some sun now for sure. Saturday my mom and I made a quick trip down to Zion for wedding #2 of the summer, and then headed over to Lake Geneva area for my cousin's graduation party. Again, it was great to see some friends and family that we don't see all the time. Julie and Jani are the last to graduate from the Finger clan. It's been fun to be able to celebrate several graduations between the Gregorniks and the Stewarts in the last several years.
We drove home that night making for a long day and a late night, but there's always a lot of stuff to do and it's hard to be gone for too long when we're just about to hit the busy season, which will (very) soon be upon us. Church on Sunday, and an 30th anniversary party for Rick and Joyce Johnson that night. I'm grateful for the influence these two wonderful people have had in my life for the past...I don't know how many years. I always feel welcomed from the moment I walk in to their home. They always make me feel like I'm just another part of their family! Monday was Memorial Day, which was spent (as per tradition) at a Fish Boil at the Weborgs. Love me a Door County fish boil! I also got to spend a little bit of time with my dear friends Jeni and Bonnie getting coffee at Brew Monday morning. So good to be able to catch up with these ladies for a bit! Today I spent the afternoon doing mulch for a camp neighbor. It was hard work, but I'm glad for the cash and a bit of sun I was able to get!
And that is life so far! Looking forward to wedding #3 this weekend!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Wo-ah! We're halfway there!
Before I begin this post, I would like to give a shout out to Joel Robinson and Jenny Suszek, because every time I hear the aforementioned song, I think of them. :)
But for real! I'm halfway done with college! Woo woo! I officially finished at approximately 2:15 this afternoon, after completing a strenuous exam (False. Not strenuous! Wonderfully short and easy, made better because of the open note option). Since then I've been packing up the room even though I'm not leaving till Friday. Now I get to spend a few days just hanging out in Greenville with my dear friends Jenny and B. And whomever else might find themselves still in Greenville. :) My parents are coming down Friday and it's off to my cousin Joanna's wedding on Saturday! Then it's SUMMER! So very excited.
Let me break down this school year for you quickly:
-Got to Greenville in August for soccer
-Played soccer, lots of soccer
-Started classes
-Spoke Spanish, lots of Spanish
-Played some more soccer
-Took a trip in November to California to hang with the bestie (and John!)
-Soccer team made it to Christian Nationals, first time ever!
-Finished up first semester, headed home for Christmas break for six weeks
-Spent a wonderful time at home, doing some work at camp and otherwise just bumming
-Headed back to school for second semester at the end of January
-Started classes again
-Spoke more Spanish
-Played soccer (indoor)
-Declared a second major (!)
-Changed my semester abroad plans, found a much more exciting and better option for me! (Guatemala here I come!)
-Spring Break! Turned 20!
-Back to classes
-Coached a team of four and five year olds in the beautiful game
-Played soccer again (back outdoors)
-Parents came down for a weekend, and to watch our outdoor tourny
-Played in said outdoor tourny in miserable weather
-Went on an epic camping trip over Easter
-Volunteered and got my worship on at AgapeFest
-Finished up my first coaching gig with a carnival to raise money for the girls going to Italy this summer
-Did tornado clean up with my soccer girls in STL, realized how blessed I am
End of the year stuff:
-Group project/presentation for Anthropology
-Group debate for Policies and Agencies
-Spanish Final (10 minute presentation)
-Paper for Marriage and Family
-Fine Arts Final online- 2 hours, worst test format ever
-Paper for Policies and Agencies
-Presentation for Tesol, including 6 interviews
-Finished up the year with a final for Anthropology
-Breathed a sigh of relief!
That was my year in a nutshell! Crazy that it's already halfway over. Also crazy that this year is already over! Seems like just yesterday Kayla and I were setting up the room. It was a great year, but I'm ready for what's next! Here's to the next two years! :)
But for real! I'm halfway done with college! Woo woo! I officially finished at approximately 2:15 this afternoon, after completing a strenuous exam (False. Not strenuous! Wonderfully short and easy, made better because of the open note option). Since then I've been packing up the room even though I'm not leaving till Friday. Now I get to spend a few days just hanging out in Greenville with my dear friends Jenny and B. And whomever else might find themselves still in Greenville. :) My parents are coming down Friday and it's off to my cousin Joanna's wedding on Saturday! Then it's SUMMER! So very excited.
Let me break down this school year for you quickly:
-Got to Greenville in August for soccer
-Played soccer, lots of soccer
-Started classes
-Spoke Spanish, lots of Spanish
-Played some more soccer
-Took a trip in November to California to hang with the bestie (and John!)
-Soccer team made it to Christian Nationals, first time ever!
-Finished up first semester, headed home for Christmas break for six weeks
-Spent a wonderful time at home, doing some work at camp and otherwise just bumming
-Headed back to school for second semester at the end of January
-Started classes again
-Spoke more Spanish
-Played soccer (indoor)
-Declared a second major (!)
-Changed my semester abroad plans, found a much more exciting and better option for me! (Guatemala here I come!)
-Spring Break! Turned 20!
-Back to classes
-Coached a team of four and five year olds in the beautiful game
-Played soccer again (back outdoors)
-Parents came down for a weekend, and to watch our outdoor tourny
-Played in said outdoor tourny in miserable weather
-Went on an epic camping trip over Easter
-Volunteered and got my worship on at AgapeFest
-Finished up my first coaching gig with a carnival to raise money for the girls going to Italy this summer
-Did tornado clean up with my soccer girls in STL, realized how blessed I am
End of the year stuff:
-Group project/presentation for Anthropology
-Group debate for Policies and Agencies
-Spanish Final (10 minute presentation)
-Paper for Marriage and Family
-Fine Arts Final online- 2 hours, worst test format ever
-Paper for Policies and Agencies
-Presentation for Tesol, including 6 interviews
-Finished up the year with a final for Anthropology
-Breathed a sigh of relief!
That was my year in a nutshell! Crazy that it's already halfway over. Also crazy that this year is already over! Seems like just yesterday Kayla and I were setting up the room. It was a great year, but I'm ready for what's next! Here's to the next two years! :)
Monday, May 2, 2011
Do we rejoice?
The question has been posed to me a couple of times now. How do we respond to the death of Osama bin Ladin? Do we rejoice? Should we rejoice?
Facebook is filled with cheers and parades and gloating as if the entire internet world was the one to have pulled the trigger. I do not know what I feel, what I should feel. As an American, shouldn't I be jubilant? That this man who has caused so much heartache in our country got what he deserved? Shouldn't I feel as if justice has been served? Shouldn't I feel safer, because this threat to our very existence has been taken out? I should. But I don't. I feel sadness.
Sad.
That I would even want to feel jubilant at a man's death. I don't know that we should ever rejoice at death, regardless of the life that was lived.
Sad.
Because I know where he is now. You may say he deserved it, and this is probably true. But I am not the judge. Thankfully so. And as hard as it is, I have to believe that God's offer of salvation really does extend to the worst of these. Shouldn't we mourn every time someone rejects his offer of salvation? It's not an idea I necessarily enjoy, or fully understand. Salvation for someone whose life was filled with so much evil? Doesn't seem to be right.
I've lived my whole life as a Christian. And you want to tell me that had he confessed with his mouth and believed in his heart that he would be in heaven with me someday? I deserve it. Don't I? Nay, friend. Nor I or he deserve salvation. But the offer extends to us both. I'm not saying he is in heaven. No, I do not think there were virgins and a land of paradise waiting for him. I think he found out that Hell is very real. But do I rejoice over this? Facebook seems to tell me I should. Many of my fellow Americans are.
My heart does not rejoice. I don't know if it should, but it does not.
Sad.
That there would be a life so evil I would even consider rejoicing over its ending. Be glad heart! A man is dead, and beginning an eternity of torment and being separate from God! Be Glad! No, heart. It does not feel right to even pretend to tell you to be glad. I do not rejoice. But he caused so much pain and suffering. He was truly evil. Mourn then, heart, not for a life lost to a bullet, but for a life lost somewhere along the way. For what must have happened in that life, for a mind to become so twisted and evil? That it could justify the heinous acts it committed? Mourn, for the broken life that would lead to so much death and destruction.
No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite. -Nelson Mandela
But why was it hate and not love that was taught? Love comes more naturally. Why wasn't it love? Why was this man so filled with hate? Where is a life lost along the way? And why was it not helped?
Safer. They say we should feel safer. Safer because of one man's death? In a world filled with violence, and evil, and hurting? Look around you. We live in a broken, twisted, evil world. You don't even have to look much beyond your front door to see pain and suffering and unspeakable violence. And one man's death will save us? I don't think I believe that. One man's death already saved us. Perhaps we are safer from the harm one man could cause. But there will be another. And we will grieve some other tragedy. Evil is in this world. It did not leave with the death of Bin Ladin. Some evil did, yes. But Satan is still fighting. He will find another foothold somewhere.
No, I do not feel safer. There is evil all around us. At no cause of Bin Ladin.
No, I do not rejoice. Heart, what do you feel then? Sadness. An incredible depth of sadness, for all the broken lives in our world. Grieve, heart. For all of them. For everyone who rejects His gift. For every broken heart, life, community. For a broken world.
Nay, I do not rejoice.
Facebook is filled with cheers and parades and gloating as if the entire internet world was the one to have pulled the trigger. I do not know what I feel, what I should feel. As an American, shouldn't I be jubilant? That this man who has caused so much heartache in our country got what he deserved? Shouldn't I feel as if justice has been served? Shouldn't I feel safer, because this threat to our very existence has been taken out? I should. But I don't. I feel sadness.
Sad.
That I would even want to feel jubilant at a man's death. I don't know that we should ever rejoice at death, regardless of the life that was lived.
Sad.
Because I know where he is now. You may say he deserved it, and this is probably true. But I am not the judge. Thankfully so. And as hard as it is, I have to believe that God's offer of salvation really does extend to the worst of these. Shouldn't we mourn every time someone rejects his offer of salvation? It's not an idea I necessarily enjoy, or fully understand. Salvation for someone whose life was filled with so much evil? Doesn't seem to be right.
I've lived my whole life as a Christian. And you want to tell me that had he confessed with his mouth and believed in his heart that he would be in heaven with me someday? I deserve it. Don't I? Nay, friend. Nor I or he deserve salvation. But the offer extends to us both. I'm not saying he is in heaven. No, I do not think there were virgins and a land of paradise waiting for him. I think he found out that Hell is very real. But do I rejoice over this? Facebook seems to tell me I should. Many of my fellow Americans are.
My heart does not rejoice. I don't know if it should, but it does not.
Sad.
That there would be a life so evil I would even consider rejoicing over its ending. Be glad heart! A man is dead, and beginning an eternity of torment and being separate from God! Be Glad! No, heart. It does not feel right to even pretend to tell you to be glad. I do not rejoice. But he caused so much pain and suffering. He was truly evil. Mourn then, heart, not for a life lost to a bullet, but for a life lost somewhere along the way. For what must have happened in that life, for a mind to become so twisted and evil? That it could justify the heinous acts it committed? Mourn, for the broken life that would lead to so much death and destruction.
No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite. -Nelson Mandela
But why was it hate and not love that was taught? Love comes more naturally. Why wasn't it love? Why was this man so filled with hate? Where is a life lost along the way? And why was it not helped?
Safer. They say we should feel safer. Safer because of one man's death? In a world filled with violence, and evil, and hurting? Look around you. We live in a broken, twisted, evil world. You don't even have to look much beyond your front door to see pain and suffering and unspeakable violence. And one man's death will save us? I don't think I believe that. One man's death already saved us. Perhaps we are safer from the harm one man could cause. But there will be another. And we will grieve some other tragedy. Evil is in this world. It did not leave with the death of Bin Ladin. Some evil did, yes. But Satan is still fighting. He will find another foothold somewhere.
No, I do not feel safer. There is evil all around us. At no cause of Bin Ladin.
No, I do not rejoice. Heart, what do you feel then? Sadness. An incredible depth of sadness, for all the broken lives in our world. Grieve, heart. For all of them. For everyone who rejects His gift. For every broken heart, life, community. For a broken world.
Nay, I do not rejoice.
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